Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Douchebags are Coming

I can only pray that yesterday's rush on tickets was our fellow, REAL Hawk fans, out of sheer terror that refugees from the Bud Light Bleachers, as shown above, are going to take over the UC. However, I'm almost too sure that won't be the case. Now that the Hawks are going to be a story, and they will be, because the Bears and Bulls aren't even going to sniff the playoffs, Hawks games will be the place to be. I suppose we all knew this was coming, we weren't going to be a secret club forever. And the more sold out games and better atmosphere will make this an even more attractive place to play for future free agents. (This is assuming Dale doesn't screw our cap situation over for years to come, and that's a BIG assumption.) As well it will provide more revenue to afford said FA's. But you can hear the rumblings of complaint now. You're going to yell "Wait for the whistle, fuckstick!" at least 512 times this year. You're going to wonder how the mouth-breathers in the 100 level can't figure out halfway through the anthem that hey, if everyone else is cheering, perhaps I should too! You're going to call upon every reserve of energy you have to not let go a straight right at the guy who asks you if Gretzky still plays. You'll swallow the barf that will arise when the bimbo who went with her boyfriend as he got the boss's tickets asks what the blue lines on the ice mean, and refers to the periods as "quarters". These things are going to happen, my fellow followers, and we're just going to have to put up with it. It's probably preferable to when there were 7,000 of us watching Paul Kariya score his 4th goal against us of the evening, but there will come times when we won't be so sure.


Matthew K. said...

Wow - that guy has a strong affinity for Miller products, doesn't he? What a horrible fucking beer..

Forklift said...

At least he's smart enough to let most of it spill out of the regular drinking-type hole in the can.